i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
