I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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