I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
