he thought i was a dude.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
