i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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