Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My vagina is officially offended.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
