The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
