I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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