someone threw a dead crab at me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
