somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
