How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize