theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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