Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
