Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
