Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize