She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
