Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
