The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We're too hungover to prance.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize