Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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