My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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