Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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