Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
