im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i will never coherently bang her
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
