you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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