I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
