Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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