i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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