Tell her she can't have a vagina
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
