i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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