Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
