I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
