seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
