a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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