worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
