Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
