i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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