Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
