Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
