I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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