i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
