But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
