I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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