just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
