There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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