Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
