Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
