I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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