He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
