Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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