People in love make me want to vomit
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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