That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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