I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
