There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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