In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This is the high leading the old right now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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