So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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